Sorry I don’t understand why your grandma would say that.

If she got pregnant to a guy out of wedlock she would be entirely at his mercy. Presumably your great-grandpa did the right thing all the way along. However, there would be no way to force him to contribute to the child’s welfare. Additionally, your own prospects as an unmarried mother were pretty dismal I think.

In 2025 I think things have changed - there’s certainly no point being married in Australia for example. The mother of my children is not my mistress, she’s my partner. In the context of the law she is the same as my wife. The reason we’re together is not a piece of paper or a promise, it’s because every day for the last 12 years we have woken up and chosen to remain together.

Polygamous or poly-amorous relationships are more common than they ever have been?

Honestly it sounds like great grandma was saying “I stayed with the man I loved and it worked out for me but you should get married”.

I don’t think that this dynamic was particularly uncommon in the before times anywhere in the world.

I think it would be uncommon for a family who’s daughter had been violently abducted and raped, to force that daughter to marry the perpetrator.

However, in cases where the daughter may have been manipulated with trinkets or promises of marriage, into providing consent (rape by some definitions), then requiring the guy to marry the daughter may in some cases be a desirable outcome for the daughter because it does at the very least ensure her welfare, after a fashion.

As an aside, yes this is more or less the definition of a shotgun wedding in English. Although, in 2025 it’s not really rapists being forced into marriage but fathers. As in, if you get someone pregnant you might be forced (not by law but by social custom) to marry her, usually in a few months before she starts to show.

Its this.

IDK about “lonely” exactly but I definitely dont get a lot of attention or kindness from people.

Now I think about it i dont offer much either but thats life i guess.

How do you feel if someone who is not medium attractive winks at you?

Or if they just say something weird, like a joke you don’t appreciate, and wink at you?

I guess there has to be some kind of established not-a-creepy-stranger before risking a wink becomes appropriate.

I, uh… think most people are pretty unattractive when they’re naked.

But its always the dumbest fear.

Its not like “im worried about some idiot POTUS destroying my livelihood through his own ego and a misunderstanding of economic policy” or “im not going to be able to afford health care when i inevitably get sick”.

Its always “if you let gay people get married then people will marry their pets and that would be an atrocity because reasons”.

I’ve been using one of these since forever and it just works. Should I look at the others?

I don’t want this to be a “I use x and its the best” type comment so I won’t say which one.

I only use wireguard and wouldn’t touch openvpn just because it seems so complex in comparisson.

The price is fine, the speed is fine, wireguard makes it ubiquitous, never had a problem with reliability.